It's as if humankind lives in a house with four rooms
with each body-personality type seeing different things out their particular window on life. Each of the four "comfort zones" has a
separate set of values and priorities, although in most situations concerning relationships, girls tend to be looking out the window of emotions.
The basic types see life from one window, the combination types from two or three and the balanced types from all four.
We might live only in our dominant side or alternate
between that and a secondary side. Or we might spend most of our time in a secondary corner for any number of reasons. Perhaps that
was the only way we fit into our family as children or it might be easier to get along with others from there, especially with a spouse.
However, we can't be really happy until we choose to live in our dominant corner because that's where our strengths
are.1 It may be hard to tell which side is dominant until we are really upset, then it becomes very clear: the Dramatic becomes
depressed, the Gamin withdraws, the Natural is angry, and the Romantic wants to bargain.2
We need the talents and skills of others to survive the literal and emotional storms of life. It's as if nature divided up
the talents so we'd need each other and maybe even learn to work together. These differences also add to the surprise/delight we
find in each other as friends and sweethearts. Frequent misunderstand-ings, however, are inevitable when we assume everyone
sees what we see and wants what we want
We can ease these conflicts somewhat by stepping out of our comfort zone occasionally to be with someone else in theirs.
The Dramatic type invites us to lighten up,
come toss the ball around and be a carefree child again. Romantics entreat us to open up and share our
deepest emotions so we feel closer to each other. Gamins want us to loosen up and consider all the alternatives before choosing the best
one, while Naturals demand that we tighten our belts and share the work to get it done sooner. When we join in, we not only get a change of
pace, we take on some of their traits a little at a time. The dark side of our personality lightens considerably.
Each of us has a first response to any disturbance. The peace loving Gamins seek to placate others, the focused Naturals are
* irritated at the interruption, the Dramatics react too fast for cool thinking and the idealistic Romantics are upset that
anyone would do such a thing. However, we can always choose a second response. Simple, isn't it? But it's not easy as you already know.
While the outer self is static, the inner self has unlimited potential with hidden talents awaiting a cue to unfold,
expand and blossom. Our cravings for something new and different come from this need to be becoming. Some traits are easy to develop
and use right now.
For instance, it's simple for Natural types to reinforce the focus and determination that having strong adrenals gives them. On the other
hand, Naturals often struggle to express their softer feelings and to feel sympathy for other types. However, it is this
concentrated effort to develop supporting secondary traits that helps all types develop character traits like integrity, empathy and the
courage of our convictions.3 In this way we "mellow out" as we mature. Or we stay like we always were, only more so, until we become
the family or neighborhood 'character.' The determined become stubborn and the detached become totally disinterested.
Which Kind of Smart?
Our brain style fits our life's work as planner-scholar (Gamin), builder-leader (Natural), dreamer-hunter4 (Dramatic), nurturer-artist
(Romantic) or as a combination type. When we receive new information, the right and left brain process it
separately, either slowly or rapidly, and then share their findings with each other.5 Fast and slow are neither good nor
bad, they just are - like tall or short, wide or narrow, angular or curvy, etc. There is some wonderful purpose in each of them.
In combination types the brain style is usually
one or the other. If you are a Flamboyant you either think like a Natural or like a Dramatic (with a few Romantic traits added). This is true until we
get to the Expressive, which is usually either Slow/Slow or Fast/Fast. However, once in a while you get F/S like
the Natural which is not
remarkable, or S/F like the Romantic, which is unusual if you're a guy. That means a few Expressive men are feelings oriented. They are
more compassionate and want to relieve suffering as doctors, therapists, etc. Or they are extra sensitive and avoid
emotion-charged situations. But they aren't nurturing in the same way women are. Of course that means some Expressive women also have
a S/F brain style like the Romantic.
This is how Romantic type women can correspond to Taylor Hartman's Blue type and there can also be guys with that personality. I might not have figured
it out if I weren't married to one. I call the Romantic the true Blue. The Dramatic is Hartman's Yellow, the Gamin his White and the Natural his Red. I highly recommend his "Color Code." Here's the link.
1. Taylor Hartman, The Color Code, Color Code International, Trabuco Canyon, California, 1987, p. 14.
2. D. Glenn Foster and Mary Marshall, How Can I Get Through to You?, Hyperion, New York, 1994.
3. Taylor Hartman, The Character Code, Color Code International, Trabuco Canyon, California, 1987, p. 89.
4. Thom Hartmann, (Hunter in a Farmer's World) Attention Deficit Disorder,
A Different Perception, Underwood Books, California, 1993
5. David Cherry, Marlane Miller, Brainstyles: Be Who You Really Are, Brainstyles, Incorporated, 1994